May 19th, 2009

Prepared to Be Incensed, Internets

10 years ago today, the Phantom Menace was released and fanboys the world over rejoiced.

Two weeks later those same fanboys found their hearts rotted, their balloons popped and nothing but bile and sickness in their mouths. Or so I assume b/c about a month after its release it became really cool to hate nuWars and the prequels’ track was lain: go see it on opening night, hate it a week later.

I wonder whether this will be NuTrek’s legacy in a month? Probably not, b/c now you’re all time-stamped on the internets about how much you loved it. While most of you can hide how much you enjoyed seeing that opening crawl ten years ago tonight.

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So, in short, go fuck yourself internets. I have to deal with your whining bullshit about how awful these movies are just b/c you grew up and apparently lost all joy and wonder in the journey. Well I love them. I love all the prequels. By and large I love the prequels more than the original trilogy and I am tearing up and enjoying the ten year anniversary of the BEST STAR WARS FILM EVER MADE.

May the Force (which is a byproduct of mitochondria—er, midichlorians) be with you. And feel free to lick my nuts if you disagree. I‘ve had to choke on your heartless contrarian opinion for about ten years it’s only fair you have to deal with mine for ten minutes.