January 15th, 2009

Holy Crap?! This Week in Comics... f'reals?

Without a scanner, a computer or carpet I bring you a half-ass stab at returning to comic book relevance.

Here goes nothing, internets:

Manhunter #Last

Unfortunately this book has ended so many times that the whole process would be exhausting under the best of circumstances. Unfortunately, I liked the second time it ended better than this story. It’s cute but not altogether great and at least a little indulgent.

That said, Kate and Co. are excellent additions to the DCU and I hope we’ll see her and Mr. Andreyko around.

X-Men: Infernus #2*

Now, the only real problem with this series is that I’m not writing it. My only familiarity with Cebulski was his Niko one-shot from last year, which I totally hated. I never did read the Losers or the Loners or whatever the Excelsior series went on to call itself. I heard it was good but that’s the most I can testify about the man’s body of work.

It’s not his fault though, no one is going to write an Illyana story and have me be 100% on board unless I’m writing it.

That said, he’s doing an admirable job. It has parts that make me so angry I want to punch random passers-by but it holds the line and gets the job done. That’s as close to praise as it’s getting which is actually fairly high coming from me on the subject of all things Illyana Rasputin.

If you liked watching Illyana and her expanded cast killing the New New Mutants (or New Mutant Academy X or Team of Gifted Young Persons or New Disposable Young X-People or whatever else they tried to call that series) last time than you’ll probably enjoy watching Illyana do it again in this issue.

Those poor kids' superpowers seem to be comprised solely of dying every couple of pages. Now they’re charged with going and getting Illyana out of Limbo, which is the worst idea perhaps ever. By now Scott must just want to get rid of these kids for the insurance money, considering he bald-face lies to them that they’re the best qualified to do the job. That's like telling a colony of handicapped ants they're best suited to take down a rampaging tiger rapist**.
*Turns out it’s actually titled: X-Infernus but that’s retarded, even by bad X-name standards so I’m sticking with my title.
** Is it a tiger who rapes or is it someone who rapes rampaging tigers? We may never know. Either way I would want someone more qualified than handicapped ants I guess is what I'm saying.

I Hate Gallant Girl #3

I love I Hate Gallant Girl.

I shouldn’t be surprised that this issue ends more or less as a solicitation for a series en potentia and didn’t have an ending proper, but I was. Nonetheless it’s a cute idea with surprising depth, refreshing art and a good beat you can dance to.

I have no indy cred, but I totally have to pimp this book. Pick it up or wait for the trade, but buy it. For reals.

Marty’s Pick of the Week
Final Crisis #6

I’m sure there will be plenty of people who hate this series and this issue, but y’all can go screw.

My only problem with Final Crisis is that it isn’t 12 issues. I don’t know who decided that seven issues is the new eight which was the new 12 which was the new four, but I hate it and I think the story suffers every time.

If half the crap I was reading every other week in an Avenger book was actually in Secret Invasion, it would have been better. Infinite Crisis crammed a finale needlessly into one issue where at least two would’ve better served. Civil War... well Civil War was probably going to suck no matter how much room you gave it, but maybe Steve wouldn’t have gone out like such a bitch b/c they ran out of room or whatever that BS Village People ending was about.

And finally, if we watched the world slowly succumb to anti-life and the last two issues of Batman took place in the pages of Final Crisis it would be better. Period. Also if Countdown never happened and Death of the New Gods was solicited completely differently but that’s all water under the bridge. Put simply: giving Morrison less room to exposit himself will only lead to more confusion. All that considered, I’m loving Final Crisis and I loved this issue.

Not just anybody raise their voice to Darkseid and that's real. I thought it was all very convincing and a nice way to go out. I’m sure it’s not permanent or anything but it was a good bit all the same and a heart breaking last panel.

If you don’t know what I’m talking around then you haven’t read the issue yet and aren’t I awesome for not ruining the part where Superman is hogtied and buggered by urban Parademons? Seriously, I deserve a damn award for my tight-lippedness and respect of your need to see it for the first time on the printed page.

I can believe Final Crisis isn’t for everybody, but it is for me. Now, here’s hoping DC can get their shit back together in 2009.

That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.

In other news, I got to meet Brian Glass of Mice Templar fame last night. He’s a pretty cool cat. Shoots straight and gave good talk. We talked about writing, marriage and the absence of bad blood between he, Michael and the Mouse Guard crew despite their uncanny release schedules. I then moved on to admonish Brave New Rich about not carrying my book, bandwagoning his sourpuss to my Eagles fandom and his irrational love of the overhyped and overwritten Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog.

All in all a good night at the shop.

Update: I started reading Mice Templar and while I’m not that far into it, it’s got a good hook. The writing is tight but giving and the art is obviously gorgeous. Best of luck to those crazy kids and their funny books.