Be a Pal, Win a Thing

Hey there, Internets.

Wanna help out and join the Revolution?

You'll do fine, cadet. Just keep your head low and your mouth shut... er, except not so much with the shut mouth.

What you can do is better defined here.

Do the thing, win a prize.

It's like prostitution.

Okay, it's not like prostitution, at all.

Whatever, just do the fucking thing.

Vive la Revolucion!

The Infi-Net is almost out of Beta!!1one1exclamationpoint!

With ten times the pornography of that other internet? Where do I sign up?

I'm totally going to download the latest Kendra Shields album off of iBay!

Also, do you have questions about the Revolution? Frequently asked questions?

Well question no further, Internets, just clickety click right on over here and get filled with our thick, hard, throbbing answers.

The Revolution Continues Apace

Two important questions need answering about the Revolution.

First, Who's That Girl?

My first guess was Madonna. I was mistaken.

Do you have a guess? Post it here.

The second is how did the Revolution start? That question is 18 years in the making. Seriously. That answer can vote.

Well the guy with the other half of the key can direct you from here.

Get a drink, pop some popcorn, sit tight, and wait for the Revolution to come to you.

The Revolution

The Revolution is coming.

The Revolution is here.

You are late to the Revolution.

You are not wearing any pants to the Revolution.

You did not study for the Revolution.

The Revolution will totally leave without you.

The Revolution pretends it doesn't see you.

The Revolution can't hear you either.

The Revolution tastes vaguely of gamy ham. But in a good way.

The Revolution will not be televised.

The Revolution will be streaming live from an undisclosed location, however.

Who's that in your Mom's bedroom? The Revolution.

Knock, knock? Who's there? The Revolution.

The Revolution doesn't need your shit right now.

The Revolution isn't looking for your approval.

You don't understand the Revolution.

You want the Revolution? You can't handle the Revolution.

The Revolution is a symphony composed of shadows and stories.

The Revolution is not going to pull over for you to pee, find a bottle.

The Revolution is DJing tonight at a club you haven't heard of.

The Revolution has no spoiler warnings.

The Revolution is coming.

The Revolution is here.

Are you ready?

It's okay that you're not.

Don't cry.

Watch this space.

So you can be told to watch another space.

This is not a game.

I need you to be cool.

Wait for further instructions.

Vive la Revolucion.

My First Avengers

By Li’l Marty Henley, Grade Eight

I caught wind on the Twitter (by the way, I twit or twat or tween or whatever the hell you call it now: follow me!) that various Marvel personalities were throwing around their Avengers dream rosters. Who would be on the team, why, etc. You know, for when someone inevitably assassinates Brian Michael Bendis and the Marvel Universe stops writing itself. Well, that got ole’ Marty to thinking, and here’s what he came up with.

My Avengers would be a sort-of proactive international super spy group. More Checkmate or Suicide Squad than that new X-Force that makes me so sad. Lots of sexy spy stories involving being dropped behind enemy lines and having their existence denied vehemently, mixed with some occasional, I dunno, avenging. Space would play into the arcs moving forward but we’re not quite there yet are we?

Let’s get started…

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So there you have it, internets: Marty’s Avengers, taking the world by storm in 2011! I know adding Santa Clause to the roster is a bit of a stretch, but I think it’ll bring in that elusive Scandinavian dollar.

Now everyone write Joe Q and tell him he simply must hire this charming young man who has yet to invest in his own website. B/c that’s how business gets done.