Wow, the week in which I bought twice as many Marvel books… weird.

Detective Comics #844

Adorable.

Really classic story and wraps up a bunch of stuff Dini has laid out during his run. I’m not sure if he’s nearing his sign-off, or just wrapping up a bunch of stuff at once or what. But it was very reminiscent of some old bat-stuff.

In a good way.

Nightwing #144

Ass. Total ass.

It's not necessarily the story itself. For instance, the Mother of Champions part was like reading a whole other book. It’s all the rest of the baggage Tomasi brings to the table that kills it for me.

The story suffers from nigh-unreadable ridiculousness, not the least of which is Talia Al’Ghul’s—trained assassin with bottomless pockets and connections across the world through the Society and otherwise—best idea is to spend trillions animating an undead army on a remote high-tech island... which predictably ends badly.

Not, y’know, hiring some thugs or going underground.

Now, I’ve already dropped Nightwing, that’s it, I’m done. In case you missed it here’s why. (Also, I finally found someone who agrees with me!).

But I present to you the best page in Tomasi's run.


“Silence is golden.”

Why? B/c he shuts up and just lets Nightwing be cool. Nightwing is already cool, he doesn't need you constantly flapping his gums, making him bang strange chicks or fly around on his marvelous machine.

I can only suggest everyone go back and read the early trades, where McDaniel drew him as an acrobat who looked at the world as a series of things he could land on or continue his momentum off of.

I wish I could convince you all that you deserve better. But so far the internets are just so deliriously pleased it’s not X creator, they’re breaking their legs running to the shop to shower money on this tripe.

Dick, you know where I’ll be when the flash is out of the pan.

Rann Thanagar: Holy War #1

If this storyline finally goes somewhere, great. Otherwise what are we really doing?

So far, so good, though. Starlin really rocks space and it'll be nice to see all these dangling storylines come together and maybe do something. I would like for that to be the goal. Not just selling me 8 issues about some crap no one really cares about.

I would like to compliment Captain—er, just “Comet” on both the scene where he debriefs the JLA (and charges for it), giving them the heads up nobody wants their dirty Earth anyway; and also for his new lease on life which he intends to get his full value from:


“Adam Strange? You haven't seen me.”

In other news, Kori doesn't take orders from Robin.

Speak of Kori, I’d rather her be in space written by Starlin then on earth written by Winnick. I actually like Kori (or have historically), but she really has nothing going for her other than sitting around and sucking the air out of rooms anymore.

Put her in space where she fulfills a niche and can actively claim some amount of specialty.

Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas #1

Really cute, albeit short.

I have a feeling this whole story could've been sorted out in one issue, but they made it four anyway. Still, for Favreau's foray into comics, it's pretty alright.

Plus, Elsa Bloodstone.


“If Monica Rambeaux calls, you haven’t seen me.”

As you can see the art is double-G gorgeous.

Invincible Iron Man #1

I see why the kids are digging the Fraction.

This book has a good hook and you can dance to it, but it still stars an unrepentant Tony Stark, probably controlling satellites with his mind.

I would ask for a) some context (though I recognize that's probably a selling point), and b) some limitations on Tony’s power set.

Fraction is good enough at his job that the badguy comes along nicely.

But especially riding the movie wave, I would rather see Iron Man go back to a guy in a suit who builds bigger suits when he needs to beat somebody.

Mighty Avengers #13

I wish *I* had 18 different series to spread my story through.

Considering Secret Invasion has clocked in at approximately seven minutes in two issues, it's probably a good thing New and Mighty Avengers are around to pick up the light work laying all the rest of the pieces on the board.

This issue did have one of two Layla Miller appearances and that's always a good thing.


“Have fun storming the castle. If Fury asks, you haven't seen me.”

Which unfortunately indicates this is another crossover which won't touch on mutants. This faux segregation has to stop in my opinion.

My girlfriend Illyana Rasputin had a breakdown and it was absolutely Daredevil's problem. The Marauders slaughtered the Morlocks and Thor came across Angel's body in the sewer. Magneto turned a new leaf and the Avengers had to track him down for war crimes. Good stories, all.

Instead of drawing a line down the center of the Marvel Universe Greg and Marsha Brady-like, let's get back to a place where they can contribute.

I could appreciate it if Marvel were taking precious time to fix their franchise, but they're not, they just keep stirring the water wondering where the number one selling comic of all time went.

It’s time for mutants to remind the Marvel U they’re people too, and a Skrull Invasion affects them as much as anybody.

Secret Invasion #2

Good follow up, but this is taking too long. I mean it, seven minutes have passed since the first panel of last issue. I understand this is Bendis but it’s a little egregious even for him.

Still, I won’t argue that this story continues its inevitable march to slickness.

Maybe this will put Tony back into a suit that doesn't control satellites. I would like that.


“Did you know this suit is really heavy.”

The punking of Sentry is always amusingly easy. Seriously, as DC's Superman, Bob continues to fail. However, Spider-man versus Spider-man is must read comics right there.


“Are you my Skrull, or the Skrull of one of my clones?”

Does Clint not know how nunchukas work, or Leinel?


“You know you’re supposed to hold one end, right Clint?”

I mean, it’s comedy gold each time, but that’s seriously not how those are used.

X-Factor One Shot #1: The Quick and The Dead

I have to pay closer attention. This is another GDing One-Shot.

Granted, this one is actually written by Peter David and it's a nice little issue that hopefully puts Pietro back where he should be.

But you could’ve not bought this issue and your life (and run of X-Factor) would be just as complete.

But it did have the other Layla appearance this week.


“All I want for Christmas is you choking on your gum.”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #14

I gotta tell you, this storyline is doing less and less for me. But I'm reading several worse comics a month still, so it's a long way from the drop list.

Holy sweet space-shit! Did you read those comics?! I totally did, and they were totally boss!

Pandas jousting atop giant armored hedgehogs for the fate of Papua New Guinea; an invasion from Planet Sappho establishing the first Lesbiarchy; Jesus bare-knuckle boxing a dragon; and Wolverine anally intruded upon by Azrael, Angel of Death and finally dying the gruesome death he’s long-deserved (oh, er, Spoiler Warning).

I mean, if you missed it… man, I feel sad for you. It was, like, the best week in comics ever. They’ll never top that... Alright, you got me, I’m not gonna review comics this week. Not really. But I still have a few brief thoughts from the last two weeks or so:

Titans (Together?) #1 really wasn’t that bad. It really wasn’t. Granted I’m a fanboy of the subject matter so maybe I’m an easy sell, but I’ve been beating Winnick up lately and I hated the preview. Beyond that, I’m of the mind that Devin Grayson did this better a few years ago before TPTB decided the series needed to be harder-core and edgier and handed it to… Judd Winnick? Weird. Anyway, it was fine. Slightly egregious? Sure, but Trigon is nothing if not egregious and a natural choice of kick-off badguy. Seriously, this issue was all set-up, how could it possibly be this ill-received? In short: Get over it internet.

Countdown #2 really sucked. Pretty much it just keeps getting worse. Luckily it’s run out of room. There is no sense of excitement or completion at all, and next issue is supposedly all epilogue. So I guess this was the ending? Really? Wow… that sucks. Unless Countdown #1 comes with a free blowjob insert, I’m taking all 52 issues of this wasted year of storytelling potential and sending them back to DC. It's just not worth the room to store them.

Competing for the top spot of the last two weeks: Serenity #2 was fun; Batman and the Outsiders #6 continued to stand out as a decent team outing with a dash of smarts mixed with a dash of badass; Robin #173 was reasonable until the last three pages and then it was “oh my wow” phenomenal; X-Factor #30 was good as always; Booster Gold #8 was funny, yet almost morbidly sad -- the next issue will have to try really hard not to be supah-awestacular; Avengers: the Initiative #11 was freaking incredible and just might have been the last issue in the series?; Dreamwar #1 was better than it had any business being… no really, Wildstorm vs. DC… read it; Brave and the Bold #12 came and went and I’m still smiling, Waid is a master at his craft and for all the fanboy funnery it manages to be relevant; lastly but certainly not leastly Wonder Woman #19 was pretty fucking cool, Gail can stay as long as she wants.

Pant, pant.

Oh but which was the best? Probably Avengers: the Initiative, for the best laid payoff. Lots of shit explodes, Tony Stark takes yet another blow to the head, and the callbacks go back to the first issue. I have a new favorite character over at Marvel, and her name is: Cloud 9.

So there you go. That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.

Current Mood: rushed

The Main Event

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Fairchild of Gen 13

versus

Daytripper of the Authoriteens

Gen 13 #11 written by Gail Simone, Art by Carlo Barberi and Drew Geraci

For tickets to tonight’s event, call Bahlactus.

Bonus Fight:

Layla Miller

versus

Nicole the Hanger-On French Tween

Last week in comics was out of its mind from start to finish. I’m going to hurry up and review them so that I can try and get back on schedule. No scans, links, bells, or whistles.

Countdown #38

All kinds of weird stuff. Mary Marvel and Zatanna fighting Slig and the Deep Six; Oracle v. Calculator over nuclear missiles and secret identities while Karate Kid and Una stand around; the Question and Batwoman v. Trickster and Piper; Jimmy Olsen embarrassing himself interviewing for the Titans. All well wrote… but does it mean anything?

All New Atom #14

Awesome weirdness x 100. Unfortunately, this review is two weeks late, b/c they sold out at my shop. Sorry I missed it then. In fact, Atom #14 is Marty’s Pick of the Week two weeks after it came out.

The Challengers From Beyond visit a city on a dog’s ass despite dire warnings from a giant alien head who digs Happy Days, wherein they visit Heaven through a crystal and fight jetpack Hitler among other historic badguys with the Ted Kord Blue Beetle who turns out to be fake as they’re left to contemplate Circus Peanuts and other sinister things.

Seriously!

How can you not love a comic like that? It’s as pure as Hellboy in its sheer comic awesomeness.

It might be a pseudo-faux Ted Kord, but it was nice to see him anyway: “If anyone sees Max Lord, that &!*% is mine!”

Green Lantern #22

Super cool stuff. This Sinestro War is still the best thing on TV. Lots of fights, exposition, and bad-assery. Superboy Prime has a chilling moment; Cyborg Superman wants to die; Jack T. Chance bites it; and the Corps resorts to in-fighting. What more could you want?

Outsiders Five of a Kind: Katana and Shazam #1

Man, all five of these “#1s” are different writing and art teams writing completely different templates that roughly circle around to the same result. I don’t even think its good, but I shamefully admit I was entertained and enthralled by the nonsense in both this issue and the one previous (Nightwing/Captain Boomerang Jr).

I don't recommend it, but it's probably too late.

Black Adam #1

With everything else going on this week, I forget what the hell even happened in this book, which doesn’t bode well for it. Oh wait, he resurrects Isis in a Lazarus Pit or something? That should end well, (sigh). Please skip this title, so they stop making Black Adam worse.

New Avengers #33

This issue was also out of its mind, but not in the best ways that these others were. It wasn’t awful either, but it continues to surprise me that out of the two main Avengers titles, I’m enjoying the one with the Pro-Reg side of Civil War more than the rebellious guys.

This issue continued with more of the “Everybody Skrull!” thing. Then it was suddenly about some Supervillains bidding on Deathlock like he was on Ebay, but some other jerk villain kills that guy and looms large. I really don’t know what was happening for most of that, but all the sudden the New Avengers disassemble, although they should be back together next issue.

What’s weird is that I was wondering why the cool stuff happening in Mighty Avengers wasn’t reflected in any other titles, since it has the possibility to be crossover worthy. Well, it turns out last issue's plane crash (albeit inexplicably) was caused by the EMP released in the last issue of Mighty. Really? Could you have bothered to explain that then? I scanned that nugget in the “Story So Far” insert, which I rarely read.

X-Factor #22

Every issue of X-Factor is out of its mind. However, I respectfully report, the ending of this issue near made me crap my pants. Have I ever mentioned that I very much enjoy Peter David? I really do. He’s very good at what he does. Whether that’s being funny, poignant, or jaw droppingly awful.

Gen 13 #11

Wait, Marty, you’re still reading Gen 13?

Yeah, I told you I would. I had to see what these Authoriteens were about. And they’re hilarious. Unfortunately it takes the whole issue for a real fight to jump off, and for the Welcome to Tranquility kids to get back into the issue. Man, that’s another issue I’m going to have to read. I am enjoying myself, but this issue drops some super-weird bomb about how these kids both are and aren’t Gen 13. They’re pseudo-rebirth-clones of the original Gen13, except that they’ve effectively replaced them insomuch as nobody remembers the originals anymore b/c these pseudo-rebirth-clones are here now. Oh, and they’re slowly unraveling the multiverse.

You get all that? Yeah, me neither. Hopefully a fight scene will resolve the issue.

Countdown was boring. Amazons Attacked and a few more people noticed. Supergirl has been elected leader of the Legion, so I guess she’s not leaving anytime soon. Blue Beetle was adorable. X-Factor was great, and the issue of X-Men I tricked myself into buying wasn’t.

I wanted to skip some of the frivolity, b/c there wasn’t a lot I felt I could really review. So I’m only going to speak about This Week’s Surprise Break-Out Hit and the Runner Up.

This Week’s Surprise Break-Out Hit:
Sinestro Corps #1

Last week the Surprise Hit was X-Men: Endangered Species One-Shot which I blame for conning me into buying more X-Men. This week, it’s absolutely Sinestro Corps #1 which may, in fact, con me into buying more Green Lantern.

Christ, where to start? Well, first of all, Sinestro is starting his own Corps. Still with me?. I’d heard this was going on, and I had to admit, I thought it was a cool idea. But I didn’t figure on giving a damn. Then I heard Batman was offered membership as the embodiment of fear on Earth. I chuckled, that’s pretty good. I picked this up, figured it would tell some stories about Sinestro and his gang of unmerry men, and I could move on with my life.

Wow – I mean—wow, was I wrong. All credit to Geoff Johns (who I heard was rocking Green Lantern in a way that I wish he was rocking every book). Not being a big GL fan, I’ve missed most of the build up, but if this issue is any evidence then I’ve been a fool. Crap starts happening and doesn’t stop happening until the very last page (and it’s a helluva last page). Then there’s a back-up story! I almost felt full afterwards. Amazing.

I don’t even know where I’d begin pimping this book. It’s just groovy from start to finish. I’d suggest some requisite GL knowledge, but the story itself and the back-up provide you with the basics to get along.

On top of this, there’s a Zamoran Corps forming out there which promises to complicate matters even further. I doubt they’ll get their own one-shot, since I haven’t heard back on my pitch. Yet!

If you were thinking you might want to read Green Lantern/Green Lantern Corps, then this is a good place to start.

Runner Up:
Thunderbolts #115

For reals this book is only getting better in ways that I would never have expected. Ellis knows what’s up and is slowly letting his story take you from a high-violence freak-show to an actual engaging comic book.

Slowly but surely a real story is emerging that should be fulfilling and fun to watch play out. I mean, it’s still Marvel’s Suicide Squad, but Suicide Squad was good, and so is Ellis, so what’s not to like?

It’s hot. Penance (formerly Speedball; still not interesting) is being treated like the faux-emo danger-to-himself-and-others pain in the ass that he should be. Songbird and the Radioactive Man (Thunderbolts in good standing when the series was about villains turned heroes) have decided this team is a travesty and are attempting a slow but deliberate coup. Songbird pulls a Captain Boomerang and totally dicks over one of her compatriots to go get himself blowed-up.

Not to mention, watching D-List heroes kick hell out of your Principals b/c they’re heroes and the main characters aren’t is totally worth watching. I’ve never cheered for American Eagle or the Steel Spider (I don’t even know who Steel Spider is). But all the sudden I found myself laughing out loud watching American Eagle manhandle Bullseye in an alley.

Good God Almighty this is just a comic worth reading for sheer blood-pumping madness—oh, and that emerging story I was talking about. But while I’m on the subject, the fight scenes are some of the best orchestrated and illustrated in comics today. Bar none.

When all else fails, trust Warren Ellis-- er, to write a good comic, like, I wouldn’t leave him alone with my kids or anything.

That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.

I will be away for the weekend and won't catch my new comics before I leave, so no reviews or anything into next week. I know, I know, you'll miss me, but what're you gonna do?

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