Malfeas

It was a really good week in comics, lots of fun stuff happened. Let’s review.

Birds of Prey #118

And the Fifth World is officially here. That took, what, six minutes?

And that’s cool. I remember liking this look when it appeared in the Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle series. But I continue to be a little sad the old guard passed.

I mean, are all these other worlds for nothing? I know traditionally, the Fourth World are their own dimension and thus never were as infinite as some Earths. Letalone 52 varieties.

Oh well, they’re kind of cool. And so is this issue.

I wasn’t overly pleased with Bedard’s last couple of forays with the Birds, but this is a nice start and even bothers to have an interesting couple of twists.

Next issue looks good too. I guess I won’t be dropping it afterall.

Brave and the Bold #13

Did you know this series apparently doesn’t sell all that well?

That’s incredible. It’s awesome! What’s wrong with you people? What are you reading if not Catwoman, Brave and the Bold and/or Blue Beetle. Or all the rest of my favorite comics that do mediocre numbers?

This issue was another great outing with a terrific pair. It looks less like it’s setting up another story arc and more like Waid throwing a couple good jaunts out before he moves on to his EiC position at BOOM! Studios.

But it’s all just so charmingly old school with new school sensibility.


“Dick Cheney is not amused. Send the robo-samurai!”

That’s adorable. And that isn’t even the tip of the adorable iceberg. Oh no.

Watching Batman and Jay Garrick work together is a pretty little ditty from start to finish. It’s filled with “awww” and a little bit of “rock’n’roll”.

Here’s an example of the former.


“My daddy was ‘sir’, and he’s been dead for 80 years.”

All together now: Awwww. Batman called someone “sir”.

I’m almost sorry for wishing Jay would just die already. I guess he has a point afterall….


“Also you get to be largely rude to civil servants. It’s an okay life.”

The hand is yours old man.

Catwoman #79

(SIGH!!!)

Yeah, awesome. Thanks again for not reading.

I mean, what’s the point in even telling you this issue kicked the crap out of most of its peers this week? You apparently don’t believe me.

It was awesome, though. I’m personally interested to see if Slam lets it go as much as he lets Selina think.

Countdown to Mystery #8

I stopped reading the Eclipso parts of this series. Stone stopped reading it.

It’s simply that bad from art to bottom. Not so much bad, as boring as hell and completely ignorable.

The Dr. Fate stuff, however, was really good. Better than it had any business being. Especially considering I was intending to hate it going in.

And I’m not just saying that b/c the man who wrote it has since passed on. This series is only a footnote in Steve Gerber’s storied career. Saying this was great doesn’t mean all that much in the grand scheme of his portfolio. But it was and had remarkable personality.

As an homage, four different authors finished the story four different ways. It’s a little bit of a mindfuck, but it’s still a cool idea and a nice way to say goodbye to a friend.

Once again, I’m with Jon. I think Beechen’s was the best ending, but they were all good in their own way. If you took a pass on this series, I’d suggest picking it up collected.

Justice League of America #21

I think I’d like to see what McDuffie could/would do with a company wide crossover. This issue plays well with others and still gets some general bookkeeping done. It’s delicious.

I think it’s funny that a good third of this issue is the “Big 3” sitting around talking, but nobody is pissing and moaning about it. Granted I can see how this isn’t Meltzer. But it’s still a large tract of three superheroes talking instead of punching things and no one minded.

B/c it’s not superheroes talking that bothers people. It’s Brad Meltzer. And that’s a shame.

This was good, poignant, involved the above-referenced bookkeeping and was funny.


“Alright, Bruce you already kicked all my puppies. You happy now?”

It’s filled with all sorts of wonderful characterization from heroes and villains alike. If you don’t know who the Human Flame is, you’re missing out.

What’s more amazing, he comes off with any amount of legitimacy in this issue and even gets one over on his so-called contemporaries. Watch him give Luthor some chin-music and survive.


“Fuck you, that’s my name ya bald prick.

I love Grodd and Savage here. And Luthor is forced to take it. That’s awesome.

I can’t help but look at the Human Flame, dreamcast and smile.

Good stuff in this issue, and it helped get me even more excited for Final Crisis. Which is absolutely the point, no?

Justice Society of America #15

Hey! Another Geoff Johns superhero pile-on! Wow! This really has gotten old!


The last two issues of JSA summarized in two panels.

Once again you’ve got jerks like Mr. America jumping in as if he’s anything more than a liability. Holy crap, seriously? No wonder people die in every other issue Johns writes, this is the best tactic they can think of for every threat. If you just don’t know how to write a fight scene Geoff, I offer my services. The C-List characters of the DCU beseech you.

Goddamnit this book has equal parts suck for everything good in it. I keep telling myself I’ll hang on until the end of the arc, but the arc apparently goes into 2009. Fuck.

Side note: And here I though that was Kingdom Come Green Lantern and Obsidian—well, technically they are—but it’s just Alan and Todd inexplicably looking exactly like they do in the world next door?

That’s really stupid.

And getting stupider.

Superfriends #3

Based on the toys by Mattel!

What is left to say about this month’s issue of Superfriends other than: Felix Faust teaches you to make your own JLA Fingerpuppets?



Awesome.

Mighty Avengers #14

In summation: “If you find yourselves faced with the most powerful hero on Earth. Just tell him it’s all his fault. That should make him cry himself to sleep on the other side of Saturn. Don’t worry about it. What could possibly go wrong?”

What goes wrong is a little bit awesome, and worth every penny I spent on this issue.

X Factor #31

I figured there would be more issues to this story arc.

That One-Shot totally threw me off. Oh well.

I mean, it ended okay. It just felt sudden. There were a few good gags, a nice bit of emotion but ultimately I think this was just Peter David’s way of getting around all this X-Men Disassembled nonsense with most of his team intact. Bravo to that.

Val Cooper should feature moving forward and I’m into that. And I like how they used her to allude to the Skrull Invasion and that Tony doesn’t give a crap about Mutants.

Top notch.

Dreamwar #2

Okay, so hza called how this series was gonna end after, like, one panel.

But, hey, just b/c you know where it’s going doesn’t mean it’s not awesome. It reminds me that I need to go back and reread Invasion!

Giffen pulls together a pretty good crossover (without the crossover), and seamlessly flows between characterization. Even when everyone is acting out of character—everyone but Chuck Tayne of course. B/c Chuck Tayne bangs triplets on his days off from banging emotionally scarred twins, that's why.

It’s pretty awesome. Especially if you’re like me and enjoy the Wildstorm Universe just enough to love watching it get kicked in the junk.

Marty’s Runner Up of the Week
Robin #174

Runner up?

Listen, I’m overjoyed that Stephanie is back; in ways I find difficult to articulate. This issue delivers in every way possible: Spoiler returns with the least suspension of disbelief arguably possible. And for that I thank everyone who had a hand in this, especially you Mr. Dixon.

As fantastic as that is, that’s really all this issue is. One big “yay, Spoilers back!” block party. So it only nets runner up.


“I mean, you can’t be Robin and all. But I guess you can stay.”

I love that Batman’s all, like, “I totally already knew that.”.


“Occam’s Razor: That story was too stupid to have happened; ergo, Stephanie was alive…. Well, and those cases are expensive.”

Really, they could’ve fed me any old crap and I would’ve been just as happy to have Miss Brown back. But it certainly helps that it was Dixon and it was good.

Meanwhile the fangrrrls over at Girl-Wonder seem to either be congratulating themselves unduly for being pests or waiting to be told what their opinion should be. (sigh). Props to Doctor Benhatton, who already said it better.

Marty's Pick of the Week
Batman and the Outsiders #7

Man it's really good to have Dixon back. Maybe I should’ve been reading Rush City, b/c he’s killing the books he’s on at the moment.

The only reason this wins over Robin is b/c this is a better single issue of comics, despite Robin's longer time coming.

I don’t know that I’ve ever read Dixon doing a team book before, I was worried about that coming in. Sure, Birds of Prey probably counts nowadays, but not the way Dixon wrote it.

He switches between personalities, dialogue and multiple conflicts beautifully. Including characters that until recently were creator’s pets, like Grace and Thunder. And I get to read Batgirl as she’s intended and TGI Nightwing! You have to know I jumped up and down cheering when he showed up.

There’s a lot that goes on in any given issue even if the arc itself has been fairly protracted. This might be the first time I’ve seen someone put Rex in a danger that I can believe is actually dangerous for a man made of his own elements.

Really cool stuff and highly recommended.

And there’s room for a few chuckles too.


“Is this… is this a Bat-Sandwich?”

Classic.

Wow, the week in which I bought twice as many Marvel books… weird.

Detective Comics #844

Adorable.

Really classic story and wraps up a bunch of stuff Dini has laid out during his run. I’m not sure if he’s nearing his sign-off, or just wrapping up a bunch of stuff at once or what. But it was very reminiscent of some old bat-stuff.

In a good way.

Nightwing #144

Ass. Total ass.

It's not necessarily the story itself. For instance, the Mother of Champions part was like reading a whole other book. It’s all the rest of the baggage Tomasi brings to the table that kills it for me.

The story suffers from nigh-unreadable ridiculousness, not the least of which is Talia Al’Ghul’s—trained assassin with bottomless pockets and connections across the world through the Society and otherwise—best idea is to spend trillions animating an undead army on a remote high-tech island... which predictably ends badly.

Not, y’know, hiring some thugs or going underground.

Now, I’ve already dropped Nightwing, that’s it, I’m done. In case you missed it here’s why. (Also, I finally found someone who agrees with me!).

But I present to you the best page in Tomasi's run.


“Silence is golden.”

Why? B/c he shuts up and just lets Nightwing be cool. Nightwing is already cool, he doesn't need you constantly flapping his gums, making him bang strange chicks or fly around on his marvelous machine.

I can only suggest everyone go back and read the early trades, where McDaniel drew him as an acrobat who looked at the world as a series of things he could land on or continue his momentum off of.

I wish I could convince you all that you deserve better. But so far the internets are just so deliriously pleased it’s not X creator, they’re breaking their legs running to the shop to shower money on this tripe.

Dick, you know where I’ll be when the flash is out of the pan.

Rann Thanagar: Holy War #1

If this storyline finally goes somewhere, great. Otherwise what are we really doing?

So far, so good, though. Starlin really rocks space and it'll be nice to see all these dangling storylines come together and maybe do something. I would like for that to be the goal. Not just selling me 8 issues about some crap no one really cares about.

I would like to compliment Captain—er, just “Comet” on both the scene where he debriefs the JLA (and charges for it), giving them the heads up nobody wants their dirty Earth anyway; and also for his new lease on life which he intends to get his full value from:


“Adam Strange? You haven't seen me.”

In other news, Kori doesn't take orders from Robin.

Speak of Kori, I’d rather her be in space written by Starlin then on earth written by Winnick. I actually like Kori (or have historically), but she really has nothing going for her other than sitting around and sucking the air out of rooms anymore.

Put her in space where she fulfills a niche and can actively claim some amount of specialty.

Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas #1

Really cute, albeit short.

I have a feeling this whole story could've been sorted out in one issue, but they made it four anyway. Still, for Favreau's foray into comics, it's pretty alright.

Plus, Elsa Bloodstone.


“If Monica Rambeaux calls, you haven’t seen me.”

As you can see the art is double-G gorgeous.

Invincible Iron Man #1

I see why the kids are digging the Fraction.

This book has a good hook and you can dance to it, but it still stars an unrepentant Tony Stark, probably controlling satellites with his mind.

I would ask for a) some context (though I recognize that's probably a selling point), and b) some limitations on Tony’s power set.

Fraction is good enough at his job that the badguy comes along nicely.

But especially riding the movie wave, I would rather see Iron Man go back to a guy in a suit who builds bigger suits when he needs to beat somebody.

Mighty Avengers #13

I wish *I* had 18 different series to spread my story through.

Considering Secret Invasion has clocked in at approximately seven minutes in two issues, it's probably a good thing New and Mighty Avengers are around to pick up the light work laying all the rest of the pieces on the board.

This issue did have one of two Layla Miller appearances and that's always a good thing.


“Have fun storming the castle. If Fury asks, you haven't seen me.”

Which unfortunately indicates this is another crossover which won't touch on mutants. This faux segregation has to stop in my opinion.

My girlfriend Illyana Rasputin had a breakdown and it was absolutely Daredevil's problem. The Marauders slaughtered the Morlocks and Thor came across Angel's body in the sewer. Magneto turned a new leaf and the Avengers had to track him down for war crimes. Good stories, all.

Instead of drawing a line down the center of the Marvel Universe Greg and Marsha Brady-like, let's get back to a place where they can contribute.

I could appreciate it if Marvel were taking precious time to fix their franchise, but they're not, they just keep stirring the water wondering where the number one selling comic of all time went.

It’s time for mutants to remind the Marvel U they’re people too, and a Skrull Invasion affects them as much as anybody.

Secret Invasion #2

Good follow up, but this is taking too long. I mean it, seven minutes have passed since the first panel of last issue. I understand this is Bendis but it’s a little egregious even for him.

Still, I won’t argue that this story continues its inevitable march to slickness.

Maybe this will put Tony back into a suit that doesn't control satellites. I would like that.


“Did you know this suit is really heavy.”

The punking of Sentry is always amusingly easy. Seriously, as DC's Superman, Bob continues to fail. However, Spider-man versus Spider-man is must read comics right there.


“Are you my Skrull, or the Skrull of one of my clones?”

Does Clint not know how nunchukas work, or Leinel?


“You know you’re supposed to hold one end, right Clint?”

I mean, it’s comedy gold each time, but that’s seriously not how those are used.

X-Factor One Shot #1: The Quick and The Dead

I have to pay closer attention. This is another GDing One-Shot.

Granted, this one is actually written by Peter David and it's a nice little issue that hopefully puts Pietro back where he should be.

But you could’ve not bought this issue and your life (and run of X-Factor) would be just as complete.

But it did have the other Layla appearance this week.


“All I want for Christmas is you choking on your gum.”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #14

I gotta tell you, this storyline is doing less and less for me. But I'm reading several worse comics a month still, so it's a long way from the drop list.

DCUniverse #0

Looks good.

Eat it. Internets.

Escarabajo Azul #26

Bueno!

I’m proud to say I got most of the story by using my drunken grasp of High School Spanish. Only to find the translation in the back afterwards.

Still, I did okay even if the translation apparently is… muy malo? That confuses me, wouldn’t you have gotten a native speaker to write the all-Spanish issue?

Is this just the difference between Mexican and Spanish kind of bad translation? A Spanglish bad translation? Or is it just a bad translation? If it’s the last, that’s awful. Lucky me, I’m none the wiser and enjoyed it lots.

More important was seeing other creators “get” Jaime. That’s going to be important moving forward.

Green Lantern #30

Whoa, Hal Jordan is Green Lantern?!

Wow.

Oh, right, sorry: *spoilers*.

Teen Titans #58

Y'know, I pretty much forget what happens. Megan is nuts or something? B/c it was too much to ask to have a character on this team not consumed with world-breaking angst.

I dunno, I really don’t even have anything to say about it. I probably need to stop reading b/c it runs as hot and cold as I do.

Here, Jon say something prescient for me.

Teen Titans: Year One #5

Still a lot of fun, although it confuses me why this series is still going.

Everybody loves Robin? Of course they do. Maybe Antithesis will use that as conflict for the next time it rears its ugly head? I dunno.

That said, I would absolutely read an ongoing in this setting. Like X-Men: First Class. It’s twenty times more delightful than the actual Teen Titans.

This part is cute all over:


“Not-t en-enough g-gun.”

We’re all having fun painting Garth* as the Goofus of the sea and all. But seriously, Garth was never like this in the Teen Titans. Nor as pathetic as Waid’s recent Brave and the Bold.

You want some classic Garth?


“Who’s Gallant now, Dick?!”

There’s some classic Garth. All Jew-fro and handsome, punching out Dicks who don’t lend a hand. Now that’s good Aqualad.

Avengers: Initiative#12

A new Artist at this stage in the game was a bad idea. Keeping everything pat for all 12 issues could only have made the framing of this series more kickass.

With that said, the framing of this series was kickass.

Compare the last panel of this issue to the first panel of the first issue. Now shed a single tear for you have seen the mountain, and it was good.

So, do we move right onto the next class or what? I kind of want more on these characters, but I’ll definitely be sticking around.

Mighty Avengers#40

Two Avengers issues (New/Mighty) without a single Avenger in them and huge tracts of back-story. Wasn’t there sort of a promise (as there always is) that reading everything wouldn’t be necessary?

Not if you don't mind missing everything. (sigh). Anyway, I hope Final Crisis is better about that.

Despite this, it was pretty awesome. Both Avengers issues read as Secret Invasion issues 1.a and 1.b, but its all great so far.

Random scene that made me laugh:

“So, are you bad cop, or…?”

Legion of Superheroes #41

There were a few neat tricks herein, like hiding so well, you're discovered by being too hidden. That’s cool.

Also, this was one of many funny moments of the issue:


Braniac 5 is officially the bee’s tits.

Now let’s get into the real meat and potatoes issue of the week. This:


“But slavery is illegal in UP space… oooooooooh.”

And my knee jerked.

It took me some talking through before I came to peace with why my knee jerked.

Listen, I’ve heard harsher requests come out of girl’s mouths before. It’s not the frank invitation to obliterate her uterus that bothers me, necessarily—actually I’m more bothered by the internet presumption this makes Imra submissive, or a bottom. Imra is telling Garth* to own her… all but ordering. That’s not submissive.

Nor is Imra asking Garth to tie her up and electrocute her; Imra is asking Garth to throw her around the pillows and give her a 24 hour limp. That’s as fair as things get in love and war.

I can make any amount of justifications for this being perfectly in line with Imra’s character (actually, resident Legion expert hza helped come up with several that are quite convincing) but, frankly, I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t have to read this in the first place.

My problems are thus:

First: LoSH is one of the few books I would otherwise recommend to anyone. Now I’m hesitant. I think Light Lass taking Karate Kid to her bed “just ‘cause” is perfectly fine. I got no problem with Shooter admitting kids have the sex. They do. Apparently he was revolutionary back on his original runs of the series by showing characters in bed.

But that’s just it, showing a couple in bed (or inviting each other to bed) is one thing; having one ask the other to jackhammer her womb until she supernovas like the three suns of Cargg is quite another. If (presumably) grown men and women read this and think BDSM, I’m less convinced that a teen/tween/pre-tween is going to understand the nuance at play in this panel and that it’s only nice to “own” girls who ask nicely.

Second, and this is the bigger one: This is private talk. If a girl-friend said this to a boy-friend in front of me, I’d feel just as uncomfortable. I don’t need to be thinking about my girl-friend that way. Similarly, Imra and Garth are my friends, and I don’t need to know how they get down on Titan on a Wednesday night. I just don’t. I feel like I walked in on this scene and should excuse myself before the pwning begins b/c that wasn’t for me to hear.

Ultimately, the panel is just a set-up for an otherwise funny scene where not only does Imra not get owned, she gets kicked out of bed entirely in favor of some alien asskicking what needs a’doing.

However most of the last half of the book is a blur as I kept wondering if I should go back in there and apologize or would that only make it more uncomfortable for all of us?

I dunno, maybe I’m being prudish in my old age, but I felt this crossed an invisible line.

*Not to be confused with Lightning Lad
**Not to be confused with Aqualad

Maybe I’m just in a better mood than I have been in awhile? Maybe I’ve refined my comic purchases to only the best and brightest? Either way, this was an enjoyable week in comics all-told. Let’s get to the reviewin’ while I have a hot minute.

Fucking Bruce Jones.

*Alright, I got one thing to say: It’s worth mentioning that of the team with hubris enough to assign themselves as Monitor monitors: Donna is the only one of them who has a case to be there. That arguably has been her job this whole time. Am I seriously the only one who knows who Donna Troy is?

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. A few more down, a few more to go. I can’t promise I can reliably speak, read or write English anymore, but here goes nothing, and by nothing, I mean: Week Old Comic Reviews!

*My hate for Eliza Dushku is compounded only by how tough she’s trying to act at any given moment.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

By Jaime Reyes