| May. 16th, 2008 02:41 pm Friday Night Fights Classic: Round 5 + Yo’ Mama Week Rap-up If I was really smart I’d have some Mother’s Day fight lined up to finish off Yo’ Mama Week…. Well, I don’t know how smart I am, but I can bring you Addie Wilson’s boy fighting a fleet-footed orphan.
Yeah, let’s do that.
Tonight’s card:
Joseph “Jericho” Wilson
versus
Richard Jonathan “Nightwing” Grayson
We all know I’ve had some problems with Nightwing lately. But what better way to show my deep and abiding—mother-like—love for the character than dragging out old pictures that show him in a less than flattering light.
Remember back when our boy was just coming into his own?
Fresh out of shortpants and making new friends, like the wife and son of his obsessive arch-enemy?
Back when it was okay to dress up in disco collars or blond muttonchops… while you announced your name in your own specialized font?
“This was supposed to be my coming out party, now it’s a double?”
Let’s face it, the real question is how are these two ever going to settle who’s the bigger queen?
It looks like they’re already well into the formal wear portion of the Miss Closet-Gay America competition, and it’s a dead heat from where I’m standing.
Maybe a good old fashioned staring contest will settle this?
“Must… quit… you.”
If I’m any judge, I’d definitely say Joey is pulling ahead. Somewhere between his Admiral of the Rainbow Navy outfit above and now he “has” Nightwing with a stare.
But Dick is like Hilary Clinton, in it to the bitter, a-mathematical end.
Afterall, he’s Nightwing now! This is his moment.
He’s all growns up and out from under Batman’s shadow. So much so, he dressed up in blues and yellows and named himself a synonym for bat!
Smart money’s on Master Grayson, he’s sure to win a physical joust!
Ding, ding, ding!
“Why you hittin’ yourself? Why you hittin’ yourself?”
…
Well who saw that coming? Dick apparently suffered a violent moment of homo-panic and gay-bashed his own self!? This is why they play the game, ladies and gentlemen.
Winner by KO:
Addie Wilson’s boy!
She must be so proud.
Both of you back to your corners and don’t be such a poor loser, Dick. Turns out neither of you are gay, it’s just the 80s.
( Yo’ Mama’s Top 10 )
You know who loves his Mama but never hits himself?
If you guessed Bahlactus, advance to the next round.
First appearance of Nightwing (as Nightwing) and Joe (as Jericho) brought to you by Marv Wolfman and George Perez. Two bad mothers in their own right.
Opine |
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