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| Apr. 28th, 2008 10:37 am Last Week in Comics Maybe I’m just in a better mood than I have been in awhile? Maybe I’ve refined my comic purchases to only the best and brightest? Either way, this was an enjoyable week in comics all-told. Let’s get to the reviewin’ while I have a hot minute.
Countdown #1
What is left to say about Countdown that hasn’t already been said about the War in Iraq?
‘Nuff said.
*
Birds of Prey #117
An open letter to Sean McKeever: Please stay on this title.
I know it’s too late, but that’s my vote.
You made your choice to back Teen Titans, and I can only hope you’re right. So far, I have enjoyed your run on BoP significantly more than your Titans work. Plus you said you had long term plans for BoP in public, whereas I’ve heard no such plans for Titans.
If dropping one means the other will improve than I find it hard to deny you—I was just in a similar position and it hurts either way—but I’m sad to say I’m only an issue away from dropping Titans and Bedard did not impress me in his last outing on BoP.
This however was laugh-out-loud awesome:
“All of Barb’s emotional abuse finally pays off!”
The framing here is really inspired while acting as the requisite rock’n’roll moment. Truly this is a great pay-off in so many ways. If you insist on staying on Titans, can you have a few of these sooner than later?
“Then I’ma join a totalitarian version of the
Teen Titans and help Luthor rule the world!”
I’m just saying.
(sigh).
Checkmate #25
Wow.
Amazingly awestacular series finale! That’s right, the last issue ever.
Shame this underappreciated series dedicated to delivering kidney-punching rawesome (raw+awesome) has to come to an end at all. But there it is; as endings go, this one was pretty great.
Do yourself a favor and do not spoil this issue for yourself. It is perhaps the most shocking ending I have ever read. Yeah, ever. That’s what I said.
It’s a little slice of comics genius and I’m sad it’s all over.
Forever and ever.
(sigh).
Fucking Bruce Jones.
Death of the New Gods #8
AKA:
Even Superman is sad Checkmate is over.
This issue was pretty much awful.
I blame that on being robbed of the dignity of its ending and pushing that duty to the completely lackluster Countdown. Leaving too many pages to fill sans payoff: It’s an entire issue of Kirby-babble, over-the-top (to the point of incomprehensible) action and Superman getting knocked unconscious… a LOT.
“So this is what it feels like to be Hal Jordan.”
Seriously guys, I would mind less that you’re naming yourselves executors of DC-Kirby’s Last Will and Testament if you at least gave him a true memorial.
Instead it’s like I have to leave the memorial to go to a wake thrown by some High-School Kids who never met the man.
(sigh).
Justice League of America #20
Finally, an issue of JLA that rivaled an issue of JLU.
Wow, if only McDuffie was allowed to just write the JLA. We’d get more cool issues like this.
Too bad McDuffie will be drug into more crossover nonsense, like, immediately.
(sigh).
Well, we’ll always have Rosedale Arch:
“He then suggested Bart.”
“Jesus.”
Mighty Avengers #12
Best moment herein?
Nick Fury’s meeting with Maria Hill. I’m really hoping that gets called back. Maria really deserves a rock’n’roll moment.
“One of these days someone is gonna find your off button, Stark.
And when they do, I’m turning your pacemaker into my coffee machine.
Marty’s Pick of the Week
Wolverine: First Class
Wait a second… did Marty actually buy a book with Wolverine in it?
That advertised it had Wolverine in it?!
Where Wolverine featured in the title?
And it was the best book he read this week?!
Actually, it was the best two books I read this week—I caught up with issue one and two at the same time. I actually feel bad for the poor chumps who buy this book thinking it’s about Wolverine.
To dust off my best Claremontian pun: It’s all a matter of Pryde, people.
“You sure? I could be possessed by your demon-possessed ninja master,
cut my hair and you could chase me around Japan?”
It’s unbe-frickin-lievably adorable and really takes me back. Remember when I was saying there was a time when Wolverine was almost a believable character? Yeah, it takes me back to then.
And it’s great.
“B-but, we have cake… and hats.”
(SIGH!)
*Alright, I got one thing to say: It’s worth mentioning that of the team with hubris enough to assign themselves as Monitor monitors: Donna is the only one of them who has a case to be there. That arguably has been her job this whole time. Am I seriously the only one who knows who Donna Troy is?
That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.
Opine | |
| Apr. 24th, 2008 12:25 pm F@%!/\/6 Seriously?
“Why, Mr. Starlin? Why, Mr. DiDio?! What did we ever do to you?”
What Superman means to say is:“Not like this, not in Countdown!”
Oh yes, in a totally bizarre move, DC decided Countdown would tie back into continuity one last time. In a move that can only be described as unadvertised and completely asinine.
Now was not the time to pretend Countdown mattered, Gentlemen.
And it doesn’t. Regardless, DC reserved the ending of the otherwise decent and informative Death of the New Gods for a piece of gutter shit which went from being the sometimes clumsy spine of the DCU to an insignificant waste of everyone’s time, talent and energy.
Darkseid left his fated fight with his son’s resurrected soul… to hang out on Mary Marvel’s couch for a few days, catch up on his stories, maybe play some X-Box Live*?
“If my son calls, you haven’t seen me.”
The course correction DiDio promised us a few months ago basically excised Countdown from mattering at all. Yet in its penultimate chapter decided to sideswipe The Death of the New Gods back into the series.
Unsurprisingly, it simply wasn’t structurally sound enough to support the weight of the one story in the DCU that actually does have some bearing on the upcoming Final Crisis.
Btw DC, this is exactly the crap people have been complaining about for the past four years. Stories not ending and depending on other stories yet to come is lame and betrays your role as storytellers.
This is your last gimme—and only b/c I already gaveittoya 6 months ago. Get to the good part.
Faster.
*(Gamertag:Die4Darkseid12)
Current Mood: disappointed as hell, man
1 Opinion - Opine | |
| Apr. 23rd, 2008 01:43 pm Last Week in Awesome II: Bride of Awesome!! Holy sweet space-shit! Did you read those comics?! I totally did, and they were totally boss!
Pandas jousting atop giant armored hedgehogs for the fate of Papua New Guinea; an invasion from Planet Sappho establishing the first Lesbiarchy; Jesus bare-knuckle boxing a dragon; and Wolverine anally intruded upon by Azrael, Angel of Death and finally dying the gruesome death he’s long-deserved (oh, er, Spoiler Warning).
I mean, if you missed it… man, I feel sad for you. It was, like, the best week in comics ever. They’ll never top that... Alright, you got me, I’m not gonna review comics this week. Not really. But I still have a few brief thoughts from the last two weeks or so:
Titans (Together?) #1 really wasn’t that bad. It really wasn’t. Granted I’m a fanboy of the subject matter so maybe I’m an easy sell, but I’ve been beating Winnick up lately and I hated the preview. Beyond that, I’m of the mind that Devin Grayson did this better a few years ago before TPTB decided the series needed to be harder-core and edgier and handed it to… Judd Winnick? Weird. Anyway, it was fine. Slightly egregious? Sure, but Trigon is nothing if not egregious and a natural choice of kick-off badguy. Seriously, this issue was all set-up, how could it possibly be this ill-received? In short: Get over it internet.
Countdown #2 really sucked. Pretty much it just keeps getting worse. Luckily it’s run out of room. There is no sense of excitement or completion at all, and next issue is supposedly all epilogue. So I guess this was the ending? Really? Wow… that sucks. Unless Countdown #1 comes with a free blowjob insert, I’m taking all 52 issues of this wasted year of storytelling potential and sending them back to DC. It's just not worth the room to store them.
Competing for the top spot of the last two weeks: Serenity #2 was fun; Batman and the Outsiders #6 continued to stand out as a decent team outing with a dash of smarts mixed with a dash of badass; Robin #173 was reasonable until the last three pages and then it was “oh my wow” phenomenal; X-Factor #30 was good as always; Booster Gold #8 was funny, yet almost morbidly sad -- the next issue will have to try really hard not to be supah-awestacular; Avengers: the Initiative #11 was freaking incredible and just might have been the last issue in the series?; Dreamwar #1 was better than it had any business being… no really, Wildstorm vs. DC… read it; Brave and the Bold #12 came and went and I’m still smiling, Waid is a master at his craft and for all the fanboy funnery it manages to be relevant; lastly but certainly not leastly Wonder Woman #19 was pretty fucking cool, Gail can stay as long as she wants.
Pant, pant.
Oh but which was the best? Probably Avengers: the Initiative, for the best laid payoff. Lots of shit explodes, Tony Stark takes yet another blow to the head, and the callbacks go back to the first issue. I have a new favorite character over at Marvel, and her name is: Cloud 9.
So there you go. That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.
Current Mood:  rushed
Opine | |
| Apr. 9th, 2008 10:52 am Last Week in Comics Quick thoughts this week as I’m sandwiched with unrelenting word count
Countdown #4
Goddamnit this comic sucks.
Black Mary again? Just, stop it, goddamnit!
I refuse to believe this book is being written—let alone masterminded—by Paul Dini. I read Paul Dini this week, it was awesome. This was shite.
This leads me to believe Countdown Paul Dini is a Skrull*.
Your TIVO died for Darkseid, also you’re out of cheddar rice cakes.
*X person is a Skrull has replaced—Skrull-like—“Superboy Prime did it”
Nightwing #143
Yeah, I’m still buying it. As a blogger, I’m obligated to buy titles that aggravate me, b/c they’re blogging gold. Unfortunately, this issue was short on gold. It still managed to piss me off but did something remarkable. After an aggravating start, Tomasi calmed down, settled in and told a reasonable bat-story. After Robin got put in danger and Tomasi—I mean, Nightwing—shut the fuck up for two seconds and did his goddamn job I almost enjoyed it. Less the yuck-a-panel quota and more pure comic book goodness.
Enough with the schlocky humor. Get to the action where I can be worried about somebody for a minute. Just send your resume to Marvel and get it over with, Pete. I’m sure with Brand New Day’s intense schedule, they’ll have room for you. No seriously, Tomasi thinks he’s writing Spiderman:
Webshooters and handgliders are the wave of the future, Tim.
Yech.
Thank god Morales is off the art, while I’m not on the subject. Listen, I like Rags alright, but he’s not good for this book. He’s great on, say, Identity Crisis—not a lot of action, lots of talking. I’m not panning the man’s work, I just don’t think he’s an instant fit on any book. I’m not blown away by his breakdowns or visual storytelling chops and I think he’s better served on other books.
I don’t know who I like individually out of the new art team of Kramer, Alamy or McKenna. There’s, like, a hundred people doing art chores on this book, but together I like them just fine. I dub this amalgam: McKramalamy.
Still a far cry from great, but probably the best of Tomasi’s efforts so far.
Cue Laurel and Hardy music:
”Here’s another fine mess you got me into.”
Detective #843
I generally don't like batman + girls. It never works and something always needs to compromise to make it happen. I only recently watched the Mask of the Phantasm movie, which I’d always heard was great. I didn’t really care for it. It breaks several of my cardinal rules for Batman stories, not the least of which is trying to add a girlfriend to the mythology.
I think I’ve been clear that I don’t mind the female supporting cast, I often think Selina, Babs, Helena, and most certainly Stephanie deserve a little better. But it always gets awkward when someone tries to get romantic with Batman. Everyone knows it’s not going to keep, so just don’t bother.
But! But, these two are adorable and I don’t care. It's written well, and I like the new history that Dini made up just now.
Awww.
Yeah, yeah, insert obligatory remark that Dini is married to Zatanna in real life so no wonder he wants Batman to bang her. You know what? I don’t care about that either.
It’s being written well, it’s cute, and I like it. Enough to make me go back on Marty’s First Rule of writing Batman. And that’s like breaking science.
As for the rest of the story, I've always like Scarface, and as much as I miss Wesker, this new moll is pretty alright. Dini writes Bat-villains how they're supposed to be writ, like fucking psychopaths.
”Umm, did you just go sane?”
She brings new dimension to Scarface’s character.
”This is the open mayonnaise jar all over again, damn broads!”
See, now he beats women. It’s like he’s reaching right out of the page to smack me for giving him lip! No, but really, to think that this woman is so far gone she needs a puppet to act out her gang lord power fantasy while punishing herself is just the kind of psychotic that works so well in Gotham.
Two months ago I was ready to drop this book. I can’t put it down now.
JLU #44
Weird, and surprisingly dark. That's three issues in as many months with really ambiguous stories about villains as heroes and heroes as shits. I like those stories for the most part, but why am I getting them in my kid-friendly/young adult book and not in my… adult book? Maybe they think it’s over our heads.
Good story, but a weird choice of Mirror Masters. It's McCullough. McCullough is mostly a shit. I guess he didn't kill Buddy's family that one time, and that was decent of him. But still, McCullough is mostly a shit.
Not that Scudder is any better, I guess. I don’t know. The whole issue weirded me out. But it’s in the good way, and JLU is proving to be one of the myriad books doing the Justice League better than the Justice League.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer #13
Spider eating man-bitch; meet racist master vampire.
'nuff said.
Pick of the Week
Secret Invasion #1
I'm not a Marvel fanboy.
As I'm fond of saying: I'm a fan, but not a fanboy. I used to be, so I'm familiar with many of its characters and concepts but for me the whole company peaked with the New Mutants (no kids, the real New Mutants ) but it seems like forever since they've forgotten what made the X-Men good. But they keep chasing the dragon like a good heroin user.
The secret to the X-Men and their badguys is they are family. They're a people. And unlike Koreans and black people they really do all know each other and have to deal with one another. So every clandestine nebulously motived mastermind out-of-nowhere; or the hundred and one people claiming to be the first mutant; or every few months the all-new most-powerful mutant ever; secondary mutations, all of that shit just sandbags the concept that mutants are a family. Like all families there are members they’re not proud of. They’re not--not--high-tech anti-terrorist ninja urban death squad nonsensical black ops bullshiteers. They're superheroes who fight for a world that hates and reviles them. That really was enough. They’re not appreciated, but they do it anyway, b/c they're heroes, idealists, and visionaries. It doesn't matter how many belt-pockets Scott has or wetworks teams he forms; or how many dark futures they're avoiding (really just the one was fucking fine). What matters is they're all in it together, even when they're fighting. The X-men are somewhere between backyard baseball, and interdimensional hijinx. For as weird and silly as Astonishing has been, it's one hundred times more X-Men than Messiah CompleX, or Decimation, or Onslaught, or the Grant Morrisonization of Genosha or any of that shit….
Anyway, Secret Invasion! Right! Sorry. Great. Really fun stuff. Totally classic reveals.
Really, it would be a waste of a shape-changing alien race to not have them invade the planet. It would be irresponsible as creators to leave this gun above the mantle un-fired. Bravo Bendis. Bravo. Right now, Secret Invasion is putting Marvel well ahead in the race between the big two in event execution.
Well, alright, it puts Bendis ahead. The X-books are still a vacant black hole of useless garbage riding its own coattails down Diminishing Returns Turnpike. The shine seems to be wearing off the Brand New Day apple. And Civil War was still awful no matter how it’s justified after the fact.
BUT, Secret Invasion and everything Bendis has done over in Marvel town is great. They should totally put that guy in charge. A real class act, good character-sense, and a wonderful story. Sorry if my fanboy is showing but it was really just that good.
It's mass hysteria: the helicarrier falls out of the sky, SWORD blows up, Reed Richards is blown to goo. Tony Stark collapses with a hell of a lesson in why one person isn't meant to carry the whole world: if he trips, the whole fucking thing spills, dumbass. The hits just keep coming.
It doesn’t help that Tony leaves a big “Off” button lying around for everything Stark-Tech is involved in. I guess that’s spillover from Armor Wars. I hate what's become of Tony, but it’s magic watching him lose like this. I’m sure that’s the point.
Like I said, the hits keep coming and I was genuinely excited about most of them. I think that’s the part that I find most remarkable. The idea that a big summer crossover comes out and most people aren’t rolling their eyes, or saying “what will it matter?” (some are). There’s genuinely a lot of excitement out there about this idea. I admit, I’m in. I’m in it for the Bendis. This story can go a million and one directions and every one of them is awesome. If—the big if—they don’t pull that punch.
I’ve included the holy fuck page, but I’ll hide it, b/c it’s pretty much the big one. Click to embiggen:
Believe in the power of the tiara!
That’s some exciting shit.
I know people like to cry “cop-out” at times like this. Personally I hope they exploit the hell out of this and put a lot of comics back where they should be.
I think Superboy Prime punching walls is perfectly reasonable, if the result is fixing shit the company lost control of (I’m looking at you 1990s). And I’m all for invaders from Skrullos. The usual caveat in this kind of story is: be careful not to contradict existing storylines and behavior—I say fuck that. Writers should’ve thought of that when they wrote some out of character piece of shit story in the first place.
I’m not holding it against Bendis if Fantastic Four #287 doesn’t make sense now. I’m all for Professor X being a Skrull ever since he was a Brood Queen if it makes Professor X better.
Finally a use for Leinel Yu’s awful art! Everyone looks strung out, creepy, hard to tell apart and deformed. It actually serves the story by heightening the tension. I might actually get it now.
Plus, this fight is awesome.
”Hey what are you guys doing—gah! Is this web?
Fuck, Pete, man this’ll never--*nunchuk*”
Get on board, I think it’s going to be a wild ride.
That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.
Opine | |
| Mar. 31st, 2008 08:09 pm Last Week in Comics Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. A few more down, a few more to go. I can’t promise I can reliably speak, read or write English anymore, but here goes nothing, and by nothing, I mean: Week Old Comic Reviews!
Countdown #5
Who cares? Glad to see the Great Disaster, only it's clearly not on earth so this is just a waste.
Understand that the Great Disaster could be an awesome story. An unseen sliver of the pre-Crisis DCU. But I just said it right there, no? Pre-Crisis. Not this world or any of the four reboots since.
Was the hope to bring back the multiverse and immediately make us sick of it so we’d want it destroyed again? B/c Final Crisis looks more and more like it’s going to be more about the birth of the Fifth World than multiversal reboots.
So, yeah—buh—what?
Countdown to Adventure #8
meh.
The main story turns out okay, but is little more than a set piece. The primary struggles of the characters were entirely ignorable. Did anyone really believe Buddy had a hard-on for Kori? Are there any two characters with less chemistry? (Although, really, Kori is a chemistry killer). Conversely and more to the point, we all know Buddy to be a family man. And we all knew Rann would learn their lesson in the end, so where did this really go? I’d like to think this story amounted to more than an uncompleted post-script to 52, but I’m not so sure.
Will the Rann/Thanagar: Holy War be any better than the previous go-nowhere stories about this apparently ongoing conflict that seems to stop the minute we take our eyes off it? Does that mean Rann didn’t learn their lesson?
meh.
It was not the worst of the “Countdown to 52 Crossovers” I read, but it wasn’t the best either.
The backup story is full-on retarded. It’s like they forgot they had made this Forerunner character and not-so-quickly recovered by trimming some of Beechen's word count. Forerunner's little space piratey adventure served to explore and illuminate nothing whatsoever. Am I supposed to be happy for her in the end? You know it would help if she had any character to be happy for.
Stories aren’t just things that happen to things. Stories are events with beginnings, middlings and endings that usually progress in a satisfying way until the subject reaches some form of catharsis and/or overcomes something. The reader should generally feel a sense of accomplishment that required this story to do so.
It’s like I’m talking to myself over here.
Green Lantern #29
Cool enough little ditty. A retelling of Hal’s origin, I guess we're in a reiterating origins kind of time. Will this actually tell us anything new or is it just pulling all the bits together so we can all get the jokes contained in Johns’ love letter to that story Alan Moore wrote?
I actually consider this a wasted opportunity. Shouldn’t this be called Green Lantern: Year One and sold for $2.99? Since when are we afraid to sell more books?
I’m not telling DC how to run their business… oh wait, yeah I am.
Legion of Superheroes #40
Continuing a fine tradition of being really cool. Again, LoSH does everything Teen Titans should be doing and doing it better.
It’s a really fun book, and after two issues of presenting Lightning Lad as only slightly smarter than a steel ingot, we get to see why he’s a good leader anyhows:
”Now go to your rooms.”
A lot of fun is had with the original Wolverine, exploring the whys and hows behind the danger of having a barely contained psychotic on your team.
”snikt bub snikt snikt.”
Also… does Jim Shooter have a crush on Karate Kid, or do I?
I believe the term is “woof”.
I love how Triplicate Girl is telling her own self to hush.
Teen Titans #57
Is Rose psychic? Precognitive? Has she always been? Really?
”Really-really?”
This issue spoke a little more of going somewhere, and involved words like believe-in-each-other, benefit-of-the-doubt, and giving-a-fuck-about-Eddie. That's a nice change of pace. Let's do more of that.
McKeever talked me off the ledge a little here. But just a little. Ultimately I can’t fathom not reading a Teen Titans book if one is available, but it has to be better than this. Rose came off as well as intended I’d wager --which is only slightly better than Eliza Dushku* trying to be Faith from Buffy.
”But I’m telling you it doesn’t matter –wait? Did you just have feelings?”
Is it ironic that Wonder Girl is worried about maintaining her new Secret ID enough to yell at Robin for not using it, while talking bald-faced about Titans' business?
"Holy crap is that Wonder Girl and Robin? Oh, no, it's just that new girl Drusilla talking to Tim Drake about being in the Teen Titans."
”Right. Because it’s secret, Robin.”
*My hate for Eliza Dushku is compounded only by how tough she’s trying to act at any given moment.
Mighty Avengers #11
Y'know, I think I stopped reading this last month and forgot. So I read it again this month. I probably should've just skipped it. Not b/c it's bad--it's quite good even--just b/c I don't need it. It's popcorn at best. But hey, sometimes Popcorn is nice.
I’m at least a little glad I picked this up, otherwise I would’ve totally missed Doom gettin’ snippy wit it:
”Fatty fatty two by four, can't fit through the bathroom door!”
Man, someone should've made a "your mom" joke. That would've shut him up.
Since I missed last issue, I had a lot less idea of what was going on. Lucky for me, Doctor Doom is an exposition machine!
(…and then in 1974, Richards totally made with this girl I swear I had a shot with... RICHARDS!!)
I mean that literally. This is a Doom Bot set to catch up any readers that happen by. I understand this feature is present at all Latverian Embassies as well. Unfortunately, they're all programmed by Claremont.
Marty’s Predictable Pick of the Week
Blue Beetle #25
Holy Awesome.
When last we left our hero…
It would be folly to try and encapsulate all the Holy Awesome herein. But let’s try a photo-respective:
How I Spent My Summer Vacation
By Jaime Reyes
”Tell your friends”
Is this the most-scanned panel of the week? Probably. Where can I get numbers on that?
”Heard you were some alien hybrid human weapon thing.”
”Got better. Heard your original copyright got pulled.”
”You’re thinking of Pete Cannon.”
"Oh yeah? What happened to him?"
"I think he's dead, actually."
The DCU doesn’t have enough of these conversations, quite frankly.
"Hey C-block --I mean, Fire. I said Fire."
If you want to write an all-new JLI, Rogers, just say so. I'll vote for you.
”You know what, vato, I think we’re gonna skip right over ‘walkin’ softly’. Comprende?”
Best. Supporting. Cast. Ever.
”Hey scarab –scarab? How do you say ‘eat shit and die’in Reachspeak?”
Man, this one little panel speaks volumes. Artfully done.
”Mi Familia.”
It warms the heart. And dig Guy in the background.
”I love the smell of burgers in the morning. Smells like… victory.”
Yeah, everything seems to check out here. All awesome, all the time.
There are at least two big moments I’m not spoiling, even though I really-really wanna. On the off-chance that you haven’t read it yet, but are still reading this, but are gonna read it. Or something.
Thank you again, Mr. Rogers. It’s been a hell of a ride.
Next issue, Traci 13 meets the family. In spanish!
That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.
1 Opinion - Opine | |
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